Johnny V Amber what is going on, this is crazy, I guess I will give a view on it like everybody else

What is actually going on? This is crazy stuff happening and has actually turned into some sort of strange comedy documentary. Personally i find the stories that are coming out quite amusing but the relaity is the must be so painful and almost turturous for those actually invloved. If this is the only way to get justcie then I guess this is exactly what yu have got to do.

I do not think we will ever know the complete truth about exactly what has happened but I guess we have to take a side at some point and believe somebody, yes Johnny does seem a lot more credible and his stories actually add up, but who actually knows?

For any Johnny depp fans out there like me I have wrote a cool snappy guide about him here for all those that are interested

I hope you can read it for free on kindle unlimited

thanks for reading

the quiet writer

How does anybody possibly just pick one career in this all over the place job market?

I do not have the answers but the job market is something I can not get my head around. We can spend 3 years studying a degree for it not to be enough and then we do a masters and then it’s still not enough and you need the experience so you have to volunteer and then you volunteer for ages just to find out that the job is actually no fun at all and was never worth pursuing in the first place and then guess what your whole life is fucked because nobody wants a relationship with you now.

I’m somebody who obsesses over every possible scenario and I have literally gone through every possible career option and my conclusion is that I do not want to do just one thing 9-5 everyday for the next 40 years that’s just stupid and unhealthy in my mind. Fair enough if I really really had to do I’d do it but I do not really want to

So I decided to do a few jobs as well as a few studies. Yeah I feel like my mind and work is all over the place but I like feeling like I do not have to fully commit to something forever – that’s what worries me being trapped.

But whilst doing this thing where I am doing a little bit of everything I worry I’m falling behind because with have not got great skills in one area of just got bits of skills in several areas

So either way I never feel like I completely win but I guess life just takes a lot of trial and error and guesswork to see what fits

Thanks for reading

The quiet writer

Extreme anxieties to life

I spend far too much time analysing every little scenario and every little scenario, predicting the worst and then trying to avoid the worst and then the avoidance leads to me being worse off than before. Mad right?

There are points when I thought avoidance was the answer like when I was finishing school and my panic attacks were at their worst I felt like I had to protect myself from everything and everyone by locking myself away in my room, I thought that would allow me to recover . Yeah it’s works for a very short period but then the anxiety is back because life is not going anywhere, not learning, experiencing or giving myself a chance to get a romantic relationship. But at the same time I’m scared of all of these things.

I’m questioning my philosophy of avoidance somewhat especially in terms of goals, with some people and some environments yeah it’s best to avoid but sometimes you have to put yourself through all the crap in order to get to your goals. You know what sometimes those goals will disappear and then come back again but that’s okay because there is always another day. The worst thing you can do is not try. Yeah most of life is failure, life is about dealing with failure day after day and then still coming and eventually the small successes come I guess

Thanks for reading

The quiet writer

Notes on life – what the hell is going on?

Thoughts of the day

Why do people not care about people anymore? Or did they ever, I read somewhere that the did and saw it on a tv show once but don’t experience it in life that much….

Why does fear stop me from doing something I enjoy? I think it’s worrying about the perception of myself I’m putting out there I guess especially if it’s doing something whilst somebody is watching, even if I tell myself I don’t care there is still something stopping me from pursuing something that might eventually give me enjoyment. Really need to push past this.

How does someone go from friend or lover to a stranger without warning? It really annoys me when people do this! Don’t do this please

Thanks for reading

The quiet writer

Notes on life – what the hell is going on

Thoughts of the day

Is it time for change when every day seems exactly the same? There’s a part of me that finds comfort in the predictable and knowing exactly who I’m going to see on what day but there comes a point where I’m like I’m so bored of life, I’m bored of everything being boring, I’m bored of people, I’m bored of me, I’m bored of my job, hobbies and interests. But these boring things are the only things I’ve ever known! Need to push out of this zone

How do people actually fall in love? I’ve read quite a few books on this and I still think love is something we still do not fully understand, love covers psychology, biology, physiology, arts etc but it does not really make that much sense, I need to make sense of it

Thanks for reading

The quiet writer

Notes on life – still thinking what the hell is going on?

What the hell is going on?

Why is it sometimes the more we try with someone or something the further away it becomes?

We can put a lifetime of love and effort into somebody just for them to reject us in some subtle way?

We can spend a lifetime studying just for an employer to say no you are still not enough?

This is what is annoying me today we can put so much work and effort into any aspect of life and it can result in nothing but more failure! It’s sad but true

On the flip side you can get a lucky break from somewhere if you just keep going, keep showing up, keep talking something might just surprise you

Thanks for reading

The quiet writer

A broken heart, a broken mind and a broken life but it’s got to get better right?

To be honest I actually think a broken heart never completely heals, the pain is always there in some form or another, it just gets a bit less over time I guess. But every time I think about my breakup I feel bursts of anger flow through my body and I have to quickly find distractions to try and make myself feel better again, maybe that means I have not completely got over it but I think it means I cannot make sense of it at all and I get angry because I still want to do something about it but I cannot, that ship has long sailed, going back to it will just cause me more pain and more heartache so I know it’s best to leave it but at the same time a part of me wants that love and happiness we did share back.

So a broken heart can literally ruin your whole life as you no longer see the point I doing anything. I know it absolutely sucks and feels like your world has ended and you know what it is going to feel like this for some time perhaps until somebody else comes along and fills that gaping hole that has been left behind. But until then we gotta shift our focus to ourselves and taking care of ourselves, it’s time to work on you for you, the only way is up from you. Possibly the next worst thing after illness and death is a breakup and we have survived it and lived through it that’s pretty cool right? It proves how strong we are and you did well getting a relationship in the first place which proves you can get another one maybe even a better one. There can be better days ahead we have just got to live them and see what happens

Thanks for reading

The quiet writer

Can life stop being full of anxiety and worry please?

These seem to be the symptoms of daily life now and I’m thinking life should not be like this at all. We should not be living like this, society has become to stressful from the ground up all because of profit and commerce. It’s proven that people spend more money when stressed so we are hit from every angle by daily stresses every single day. Even when I’m sitting at home with absolutely nothing to do I am stresses about it, I’m worried I will never find another girlfriend, I’m worried I will never get a job I don’t hate, I’m worried about mine and my families health, I’m worried I will never find happiness. I’m worried I’m going to die

I am not living life properly if I am thinking like this all the time but I can’t seem to get out of the habit. I’m like I want to move forward and do something else with life but then I’m like oh no I’m worried my panic attacks will kick in again and I will be left alone living in my bed staring at the ceiling because I cannot muster up the energy to connect with anybody again…

I’m always searching for solutions. Medication seems to numb the symptoms a bit, therapy gets a few things out of mind but at the core I’m still a anxious person and still want to hide away from it all….

I guess this is just life now, we always have the option to change a certain aspect of our life but we can’t change external things so for now I will keep working on myself

Thanks for reading

The quiet writer

Anxiety and Covid, a lethal combination

Cheese and onion, salt and vinegar, gin and tonic are all great combinations! Let me tell you what the worst combination is anxiety and Covid! It’s a recipe for disaster.

Anxiety manifests in many forms, worries about worries create physical symptoms which can feel very painful. The whole media storm about Covid has created oh so many worries and stresses for everyone.

What’s worse is that nobody knows exactly what to do. Oh but the WHO and sage and the government are working on it. They do not have a clue what they are doing. All the want is money, money, money. The Amon t of scientific research that has gone into this terrible virus is mad but yet they still don’t understand it at all. This could’ve been controlled a long time ago but now it’s far too late, this will never go. Who knows if the vaccines are safe or actually do anything, the research is just fiction on a page with peoples words and comments, I don’t think anybody knows at all.

I’d love to give you all the answer to this but like most things in life this is a mystery that may never be solved. I just keep carrying on with my days as if nothing has happened and hope nothing bad happens

Stay safe

The quiet writer

How quickly can life turn to rock bottom?

The answer is very quickly! Overnight actually. I think it’s just mad how it can seem like everything is safe and comfortable in your life and then wham you lose your job and your girlfriend leaves you. This means we are only ever two steps from rock bottom. I find that very scary but at the same time if you have both of these things right now you should be very grateful as they can easily disappear quite quickly without it actually being anything to do with you.

I think it makes it even harder to deal with when these things can be completely external, you can be the absolute best at your job but your company may still have to let you go due to cutbacks. You can be the most loving, caring beautiful person in the world but she still might leave you for reasons you may never understand and what’s worse she might not even possibly tell you those reasons

I guess this blog post is pretty pessimistic but you can look at it another way, if you have a job and a girlfriend right now just think of all the people I there who do not have these things, it might make you feel pretty special

Thanks for reading

The quiet writer